If you think or believe you are "shy" or "withdrawn" then it's time to get a new game plan...
Holding back because you think you are shy is another way of saying "not me".
Stop making the excuse of shyness for you not putting yourself forward into the thick of it...
It may comfort you to say it, but it can never get you the results you say you want. People want to work with others who are certain of themselves, because invariably it's a quality they want for themselves!
How to get the Assertiveness Bug:
1. Know your values and live by them - even when it isn't convenient
2. Be decisive - the more decisions you make, the more assertive you feel
3. Don't wait for assertiveness to show up - it's waiting for you to act!
4. Say no when you need to
5. Use good, clear communication skills - say what you mean with warmth, not fear
6. Be an attentive listener - listen to the other person's point of view completely
7. Say yes when you need to - if you say no because you are afraid, you are missing an opportunity to build your assertiveness muscle
8. Take responsibility for your own actions - act as if it down to you to create the level of confidence and assertiveness you choose
9. Ask for what you want - don't hope others will know, state what you prefer
10. Stand up for yourself
Becoming assertive in your daily life will open many more doors of opportunities, allow a greater influence of friends and colleagues and place you on the pathway to the success you deserve.
Changing your beliefs about being assertive or holding assertiveness is easy to change. Remember ‘beliefs are all just made up bull’ that we have told ourselves over and over again. How about you start telling yourself some of these new beliefs;
• I am wonderful at speaking in front of other people
• I am wonderful at listening and enjoying other peoples company
• I am wonderful at making decisions
• I am assertive when required
See if you notice a change in the next month.
Take care and look forward to next time.
Michael Griffiths
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